Thank you, Swiss Miss

Date October 1, 2008

Coffee is a staple of Colombian culture.  Go figure, right?

The line of people going into and coming out of the staff room with their steaming mugs is as constant as a train of ants at a church picnic.  I admit that I look at them longingly.  I want to fit into that social circle.  I want to be a part of it.  I want to look all grown up and sophisticated and slightly mysterious like coffee drinkers do.

Alas, I do not.

I am not mature nor mysterious.  I loathe the taste of coffee and I’m dying to tell about half of the aforementioned sophisticated population that their breath smells like poo, but I won’t.  Because I want them to include me.  But the truth is that I, Emily Witt, am not cool enough nor adult enough to be a coffee drinker.

But they don’t have to know that, now do they?  Of course, they don’t.  Because I have discovered this.

And friends, the mug still steams.

10 Responses to “Thank you, Swiss Miss”

  1. Dani said:

    Emily that is too funny! I used to work with a man that drank coffee all day. And you are right POO BREATH! I hated it when he would look over my shoulder at the computer. I wanted to tell him. I like my coffee sometimes, but then I hit the BIG RED. Gotta have some gum!

  2. Deanna said:

    Ok, I’m a little weird because I hate the taste of coffee but I LOVE the way it smells! (Well, maybe not the way it smells on someone’s breath afterwards, but the way it smells while its brewing!)

  3. Lou said:

    I am the sophisticated coffee drinker! hahahahahaahhahahahahahahhha

    Far from sophisticated but I do love coffee and I love when I used to be able to afford Starbucks because I liked to try different flavors and styles. I don’t know where I developed this love. Mother and Daddy always drank it and I was like Deanna, I loved the smell of it brewing before I started drinking it.

    But, I must admit, yall have all given me a paranoia about my breath. I will try to be sure I have plenty of gum around since this is an every morning ritual for me.

    Love ya

  4. Summer said:

    You are so funny! I am now a coffee drinker (only a cup in the morning), but I must have cream and sugar. That’s how I started drinking coffee–more cream, sugar, and chocolate than coffee. Really healthy, right?

  5. Nieca said:

    Welllllll Put me on the Poo Breath List!!! I love everything about coffee… the smell, the color (toned down with milk), the taste, the absolutely precious coffee mugs that I have (thanks to Momma and a Disney store)… And I just love to drink my coffee with Momma and just talk and solve all of my problems…. and probable everybody else’s (hahaha).

    BUT, I guess I better invest in a whole lot of gum, too, since this is all family, I would imagine that ya’ll would not think twice to tell me I have poo breath!!!

    BTW, I’m really not that fond of Starbucks, though… Don’t know why… maybe most of it is usually too strong, or it could just be that I really don’t know how to order it!!!

  6. Emily said:

    Ha! I was substitute teaching today and got scolded by the Spanish teacher from Columbia for not wanting to drink coffee. So in a small way, I feel your pain. “Going out for hot chocolate” just doesn’t have the same ring to it as “going out for coffee”, but I’m totally with you on your coffee stance. Swiss Miss is a dear friend of mine.

  7. Stephen said:

    When I was a peer counselor in high school (sounds important, huh?), we took this fun little survey. We had to look at 8 or 10 words and write down the first words that came to mind describing how we felt about each subject. So, we when we got to “coffee,” I wrote “smells good, tastes bad.” At the end, our teacher revealed that each word represented our attitude toward different things in life–work, family, etc. Well, coffee apparently represented our attitude toward sex. I had the funniest answer of the group…by far. I was pestered about that for years!! You want to know what’s funny now? I love coffee. If I had to take the same survey now, I’d probably respond with, “Too expensive!”

  8. Sheila said:

    Its o.k. Emily. I probably drink enough for the both of us. I used to think my mom and dad were so very weird drinking coffe when it was 100 degrees outside but now as the saying is, i have turned into my mother. I dont see how people function without coffee. I guess a matter of taste, and smell….

  9. sonny said:

    hot chocolate, all the way.

  10. Javier F. said:

    Now we know Emily, now we know. 🙂