hypothetically speaking

Date March 28, 2009

There was this one time, like 352,000 years ago– like not in this life, but in another one— when I promised to help do 467 million different things all in the shortest timeframe known to man.

And that one time I forgot that there was only one of me and that sometimes I get sleepy and moody and irritable and super emotional when I’m not by myself enough.

And I forgot that every so often I feel the need to run into oncoming traffic and wave with both hands as if it’s the most normal thing in the world to do when one is feeling the need to just be alone.

But in the moments between the madness (when I admit to myself that one time is actually now), I see the beautiful brown faces of children that are growing and learning not to roll their r’s when they say the word tomorrow and I smile at the knowledge that I taught them that.

And in the not-so-quiet of evening, I hear the uproar of Spanish swear words from the streets as Bolivia and Colombia battle in the South America futbol qualifier.

Then, I crawl beneath my covers and grin at the life I’ve made in coffee country for awhile and as sleep draws nearer the slightest hint of sadness takes me over.

It seems the end is closer than I ever thought it would be.

Category Posted in change, my emotional state

7 Responses to “hypothetically speaking”

  1. Summer said:

    March 29th, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    It does seem like when you’re in a new place in life and challenging yourself that time almost stands still. That is when I’m most at risk for feeling defeated because the end seems so far away. Then somehow time passes, and before I know it, I’m moving onto another adventure. That is when I’m most in danger of being sorry time passed so quickly.

  2. Sisser said:

    March 29th, 2009 at 5:04 pm

    oh, whatever, just come home and hang out wif a sisser already. then i wouldn’t have to leave you no more outrageous voicemails to make you feel like you was right there wif a sisser jammin’ out. i know you’ll miss those the most though sisser.

  3. Stephen said:

    March 30th, 2009 at 7:16 am

    “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”

  4. Stephen said:

    March 30th, 2009 at 7:16 am

    Stephen,

    The ’90’s called and they want they’re one-hit-wonder quotes back.

  5. deanna said:

    March 30th, 2009 at 7:25 am

    So when are you coming home….for good?

  6. Lou said:

    March 30th, 2009 at 2:28 pm

    I agree with Stephen’s first comment regardless of the quote originaton. I am ready for you to be home.
    Another adventure is just beginning!

  7. sherry said:

    March 30th, 2009 at 9:22 pm

    Endings are so very hard to endure (unless one has been counting the days for that to happen). The ” in limbo” stage is the very worst. Once you have made the change, things seem to fall into place like it was always planned that way. Every year is bittersweet as saying good-bye to your latest class. It is especially so when leaving a current situation and location. Pray for the peace, search for the happiness, and gather the memories as treasures in your heart….they will be with you forever and forever, no matter where you land! Thinking of you all those miles away.
    Mamma V