apparently, i do have a heart.

Date February 13, 2009

Valentine’s day is all hearts and mush and “I love you so much, pookie bear.”

Blah, blah, blah and so on and so forth and gag me with a fork.

No, I’m not some bitter, single, brooding woman.  Honest.  I just don’t buy into all the hokum.  Never really have.

Now, to be fair, I don’t have a long string of boyfriends, much less boyfriends on Valentine’s Day.  But even if my history was made up of roses and love songs and hand holding, I think I’d still loathe this holiday with the fire of one thousand suns.

Because I’m heartless like that.

I couldn’t count on the hands of every kid in my class how many times I’ve been called a heartbreaker or a man eater or a heart shredder.  And heartless?  Oh, heavens.  The list of people that have called me heartless is the length of Route 66 or longer.

I’m used to it, I suppose, and have done well to earn the title.  After all, I have an infallible two date rule:  the first because I just can’t say “no,”  the second for the “Hey, buddy.  This is never going to work” speech.

Then, there’s the side of me that’s all “Aw, Mom, he’s just so nice.  No, ma’am, he doesn’t like me.  Yes, I’m sure, Mom.  We’re just friends.  Yes, ma’am, he knows that; I’ve told him like 752 times.  Of course, he knows!” 

Which is inevitably followed by the “I KNOW I should’ve been more clear, Mother.  Yes, Mother, he cried and yes, I know better and yes, you were right and yes, I’m going to quit getting myself into this.  YES, MOTHER.  I get it.”

Heartless.

Blake and I were laughing at this relational history of mine about a year ago as he was encouraging me to start a blog.  He gave me all of this mumbo jumbo about needing a domain name and a site name and all of these other things I didn’t understand. 

“Witt, what do you want people to type to get to your site?”

“Blake, I have NO clue!  You pick it!  I.  DON’T.  KNOW!”

“Well, here’s my take,” he said.  “You’re always talking about being heartless and all that nonsense and then you write these emails home about the heart you have for Colombia and your friends and people, right?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess.”

“It’s settled then.”

And so www.emilywithaheart.com is what people type to come and read these crazy stories of mine, but that doesn’t mean I have to like Valentine’s Day or all of the mushy nonsense that comes in red tin-foiled boxes.

Good thing, too, ’cause I’m determined to hate The Black Holiday forever.

 Even if I do have a heart.

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8 Responses to “apparently, i do have a heart.”

  1. Trava said:

    February 13th, 2009 at 9:21 am

    You don’t fool me for a second, Emily Witt! You sure can make me laugh! You can also protest too much. Take it easy on the “LOVE” Day. You’ll get through it. Love you much!

  2. me said:

    February 13th, 2009 at 9:27 am

    I already have a desk full of stuff and it keeps coming. I even got a chocolate rose that 2 boys claim they gave me, and a bracelet from the same boy that gave me a gnome for Christmas. 🙂 Also, you know Stephen.. he’s Mr. Mush himself! Oh, Emily, why are we this way?

  3. Dani said:

    February 13th, 2009 at 9:58 am

    Emily Lane! There is absolutely no way you could be heartless! Where are you? What are you doing? You are far away sharing your heart with children that obviously adore you! A heartbreaker-maybe, but definitely not heartless!

    I love you!

  4. Stuts said:

    February 13th, 2009 at 1:49 pm

    Em, you have a heart bigger than any one I know. It’s not YOUR fault those boys weren’t the right one for you (and it’s not their’s either).

    You don’t have to love the hearts and pinks and reds and mushy stuff. You know that’s not always real. You know REAL Love. He’s made that big heart of yours His home, and put you in a place to share Him with what sounds like some awesome people!

  5. Stephen said:

    February 13th, 2009 at 2:24 pm

    I’m not mushy. I don’t know what “me” is talking about.

  6. Anya said:

    February 13th, 2009 at 2:29 pm

    I’m falling in love w/ your blog. I believe I’m addicted to you. After all these years…who’d have thunk it?? Love ya sweetie! I mean pookie bear. 🙂 Let us know when you are home again…maybe we can get a visit in. And trust me…to be where you are, doing what you are doing….you have a HUGE heart. And I know everyone can see that.

  7. J Miller said:

    February 14th, 2009 at 10:59 am

    Em your far from heartless. However, I’m totally with you on Valentine’s day… it’s a horrible day. So I won’t even wish you a happy V-day, but instead hope you have a great weekend.

  8. Lou said:

    February 16th, 2009 at 10:58 am

    I really go in to your blog post today and even more in to the comments you received.

    Not heartless! you just don’t like the “holiday”. That is perfectly okay! You write as if there is something wrong with that and it is not. I don’t like Halloween but I mutter through it every year. Heck I even take Colton trick or treating because I did like it as a child…candy and all.

    Word of advice on a section of your blog….Pay alot of attention when they are “just friends” because you really have to be friends first.
    Love ya.