I’d rather not be Miss Havisham

Date September 22, 2008

I love writing this blog.  It gives me an outlet and a chance to scribble a bunch of nonsense every once in a while and that’s a good thing.  Otherwise my brain gets all crowded and I say things out loud in front of strangers.  And then said strangers look at me like I’ve lost my marbles.  (which could, in fact, be sort of true.)

Not cool.

I think I forget that people actually read this stuff because I sort of write it for me.  That’s selfish and egotistical, huh? 

Here I am writing a bunch of fluff half the time expecting it to make me feel better and I forget that there are you kind folks.  You folks that are reading my hogwash and wondering when I’m going to write something new.  That adds some pressure to the mix, but I like it.

Still, I can’t help but wonder if my crazy isn’t more evident via blog.  I mean, I can play normal in person.  But sometimes my written words give me away. 

That’s a scary thought. 

I wonder if I haven’t revealed too much about myself here.  Heck, I told you I was an emotional trainwreck and that I don’t play well with the opposite sex.  That’s deep, dark secret sort of stuff and here I am spilling it for the masses on the world wide web. 

What am I thinking?!

I guess I’m sort of thinking that it’s easier.  It’s a cop out, perhaps, but I’m embracing it.  It keeps me from clamming up when people ask hard questions.  It keeps me from having to see a shrink for all of my issues.  It keeps me from moving to a foreign island and taking up chain smoking.

Writing here keeps me connected to me.  And to you. 

Because let’s be honest, shall we?  If I didn’t write here and some of you didn’t ask me when I was going to write more here, I just might be a completely antisocial type. The kind with cats that sits in an old chair and smells like moth balls. 

The kind that is creepy. 

And that, my friends, is way less cool than I ever long to be.

8 Responses to “I’d rather not be Miss Havisham”

  1. Lou said:

    I had wrote a big long comment and something happened when I tried to submit it and it didn’t go through…..and that my have been God working.

    I love you and know that I am praying for you.

    If you get curious about the comment that didn’t make it, e-mail me.

  2. Summer said:

    That makes two of us writing to combat being antisocial! 🙂

  3. Deanna said:

    Although you write this blog for yourself, I’m very grateful you give us the opportunity to read it. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to keep up with you and all your exciting endeavors!!!

  4. Lou said:

    I must agree with Deanna, I look forward to reading this on a daily basis. I feel so connected to you and as shameful as it is, we talk more now than we did when you lived 4 miles away. I love you and I am sorry for not being more connected when you were closer to us. But I am thankful for you and what you mean to me.

    Love Ya

  5. Trava said:

    Emily, girl, you are anything but antisocial! Never have been, never will be and as for rambling, your kind is the best blonde kind. Of course I resemble that remark!! HEE, HEE! Spilling you guts to strangers and friends is some times easier, because you don’t see the reaction right away. I look forward to reading your life. You’re a goodin!

  6. Kylie said:

    You are a true treasure, No really Em!! As writtin above, its a gift to have this much contact with you, all the way over there and i’m all the way over here.
    God has such an amazing plan for your your life, thankyou for sharing it here, words from your heart.
    Love Ya

  7. Sisser said:

    who are you kidding? you are nowhere near antisocial. that is me, sisser. i am the one who begs you not to go into a crowded restaurant for fear of seeing people we might know. and i am the one who gets incredibly awkward in large groups of people. you hop around talking to folks like it’s yo job. basically, i think you just want to be me. i mean, let’s be cereal, sisser. who wouldn’t want to be awkward and antisocial? and chubby.

  8. Hailey said:

    Isn’t that the truth. When you’re posting blogs or scribbling in a journal, words and thoughts come out of the corners of your mind and there is no more hiding. The real crazy you is out there, girl. But the beauty is that that craziness is what part we can relate to. I enjoy reading your blogs. You fo’real girl, and I love it.